This past Monday,
Total Film published its list of the 100 Greatest Female Characters. As everyone knows, these Best Ever lists tend to have the pretty obvious problem of not being able to
include everyone and, therefore, not being able to
please everyone. But we here at
Bitch Flicks found this particular list more problematic than usual. For a variety of reasons. Before we discuss the WTF-FAIL of this, check out the list below and/or scroll through the
photo-list at
Total Film (especially if you're interested in their use of sexist language and images).
100. Baby from
Dirty Dancing, played by Jennifer Grey
99. Cherry Darling from
Planet Terror, played by Rose McGowan
98. Vivian Ward from
Pretty Woman, played by Julia Roberts
97. Samantha Baker from
Sixteen Candles, played by Molly Ringwald
96. Stifler's Mom from
American Pie, played by Jennifer Coolidge
95. Layla from
Buffalo '66, played by Christina Ricci
94. Marquise de Merteuil from
Dangerous Liaisons, played by Glenn Close
93. Karen Silkwood from
Silkwood, played by Meryl Streep
92. Marnie Edgar from
Marnie, played by Tippi Hedren
91. Briony Tallis from
Atonement, played by Saoirse Ronan
90. Gertie from
E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, played by Drew Barrymore
89. Mrs. Danvers from
Rebecca, played by Judith Anderson
88. Jean Brodie from
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, played by Maggie Smith
87. Malena Scordia from
Malena, played by Monica Bellucci
86. Audrey 2 from
Little Shop of Horrors, voiced by Levi Stubbs
85. Gilda Mundson Farrell from
Gilda, played by Rita Hayworth
84. Matty Walker from
Body Heat, played by Kathleen Turner
83. Annie Savoy from
Bull Durham, played by Susan Sarandon
82. Severine Serizy from
Belle Du Jour, played by Catherine Deneuve
81. Gloria Swenson from
Gloria, played by Gena Rowlands
80. Catherine Tramell from
Basic Instinct, played by Sharon Stone
79. Phyllis Dietrichson from
Double Indemnity, played by Barbara Stanwyck
78. Bess McNeill from
Breaking the Waves, played by Emily Watson
77. Thelma Dickinson from
Thelma and Louise, played by Geena Davis
76. Alabama Whitman from
True Romance, played by Patricia Arquette
75. Coraline from
Coraline, voiced by Dakota Fanning
74. Annie Porter from
Speed, played by Sandra Bullock
73. Kate "Ma" Barker from
Bloody Mama, played by Shelley Winters
72. Marge Gunderson from
Fargo, played by Frances McDormand
71. Elisabet Vogler from
Persona, played by Liv Ullmann
70. Sally Albright from
When Harry Met Sally, played by Meg Ryan
69. Bonnie Parker from
Bonnie and Clyde, played by Faye Dunaway
68. Ada McGrath from
The Piano, played by Holly Hunter
67. Soshanna Dreyfus from
Inglourious Basterds, played by Melanie Laurent
66. Alice Hyatt from
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, played by Ellen Burstyn
65. Lee Holloway from
Secretary, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal
64. Barbarella from
Barbarella, played by Jane Fonda
63. Annie Wilkes from
Misery, played by Kathy Bates
62. Sylvia from
La Dolce Vita, played by Anika Ekberg
61. Regan MacNeil from
The Exorcist, played by Linda Blair
60. Mary Poppins from
Mary Poppins, played by Julie Andrews
59. Mildred Pierce from
Mildred Pierce, played by Joan Crawford
58. Margo Channing from
All About Eve, played by Bette Davis
57. Adrian Pennino Balboa from
Rocky, played by Talia Shire
56. Nikita from
La Femme Nikita, played by Anne Parillaud
55. "Baby" Jane Hudson from
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, played by Bette Davis
54. Summer Finn from
500 Days of Summer, played by Zooey Deschanel
53. Judy Barton/Madeleine Elster from
Vertigo, played by Kim Novak
52. Debby Marsh from
The Big Heat, played by Gloria Grahame
51. Amelie from
Amelie, played by Audrey Tautou
50. Jessie from
Toy Story 2, voiced by Joan Cusack
49. Nurse Ratched from
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, played by Louise Fletcher
48. Alex Forrest from
Fatal Attraction, played by Glenn Close
47. Evelyn Mulwray from
Chinatown, played by Faye Dunaway
46. Blanche Dubois from
A Streetcar Named Desire, played by Vivien Leigh
45. Paikea Apirana from
Whale Rider, played by Keisha Castle-Hughes
44. Charlotte from
Lost In Translation, played by Scarlett Johansen
43. Ofelia from
Pan's Labyrinth, played by Ivan Baquero
42. Margot Tenenbaum from
The Royal Tenenbaums, played by Gwyneth Paltrow
41. Holly Golightly from
Breakfast at Tiffany's, played by Audrey Hepburn
40. Mindy "Hit Girl" Macready from
Kick-Ass, played by Chloe Moretz
39. Chihiro Ogino from
Spirited Away, voiced by Rumi Hiragi
38. Mia Williams from
Fish Tank, played by Katie Jarvis
37. Jessica Rabbit from
Who Framed Roger Rabbit, voiced by Kathleen Turner
36. Older Daughter from
Dogtooth, played by Aggeliki Papoulia
35. Ursa from
Superman II, played by Sarah Douglas
34. Ann Darrow from
King Kong, played by Fay Wray
33. Betty Elms/Diane Selwyn from
Mulholland Dr., played by Naomi Watts
32. Scarlett O'Hara from
Gone With the Wind, played by Vivien Leigh
31. Coffy from
Coffy, played by Pam Grier
30. Kym from
Rachel Getting Married, played by Anne Hathaway
29. Trinity from
The Matrix, played by Carrie-Anne Moss
28. Lady from
Lady and the Tramp, voiced by Barbara Luddy
27. Louise Sawyer from
Thelma and Louise, played by Susan Sarandon
26. Nina Sayers from
Black Swan, played by Natalie Portman
25. Enid from
Ghost World, played by Thora Birch
24. Rosemary Woodhouse from
Rosemary's Baby, played by Mia Farrow
23. Mrs. Robinson from
The Graduate, played by Anne Bancroft
22. Dory from
Finding Nemo, voiced by Ellen Degeneres
21. Veronica Sawyer from
Heathers, played by Winona Ryder
20. Mia Wallace from
Pulp Fiction, played by Uma Thurman
19. Clarice Starling from
The Silence of the Lambs, played by Jodie Foster
18. Laurie Strode from
Halloween, played by Jamie Lee Curtis
17. Carrie White from
Carrie, played by Sissy Spacek
16. Bridget Gregory from
The Last Seduction, played by Linda Fiorentino
15. Catwoman from
Batman Returns, played by Michelle Pfeiffer
14. Matilda from
The Professional, played by Natalie Portman
13. Lisbeth Salander from
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, played by Noomi Rapace
12. Jackie Brown from
Jackie Brown, played by Pam Grier
11. Eli from
Let the Right One In, played by Lina Leandersson
10. Sugar Kane Kowalczyk from
Some Like It Hot, played by Marilyn Monroe
9. Hildy Johnson from
His Girl Friday, played by Rosalind Russell
8. The Bride from
Kill Bill, played by Uma Thurman
7. Hermione Granger from
Harry Potter, played by Emma Watson
6. Dorothy Gale from
The Wizard of Oz, played by Judy Garland
5. Princess Leia Organa from
Star Wars, played by Carrie Fisher
4. Clementine Kruczynski from
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, played by Kate Winslet
3. Sarah Connor from
The Terminator, played by Linda Hamilton
2. Annie Hall from
Annie Hall, played by Diane Keaton
1. Ellen
Ripley from
Alien, played by Sigourney Weaver
Well. Let's discuss the most ridiculous, WTF-FAIL elements of this list.
1. 7% of the 100 Greatest Female Characters are--wait for it--not human. We've got Audrey 2 the plant; Coraline the cartoon girl; Jessie the cartoon cowgirl; Chihiro Ogino the cartoon girl; Jessica Rabbit the (sexy) cartoon rabbit; Lady the dog; and Dory the fish. And only three of these seven Greatest Female Characters are even animated humans. The rest are animals. And one, the plant, is voiced by a man.
2. Only 5% of the 100 Greatest Female Characters were directed by women, and that includes a co-director credit (Andy and Lana Wachowski) for The Matrix. The other woman-directed films include Andrea Arnold's Fish Tank, Jane Campion's The Piano, Niki Caro's Whale Rider, and Sofia Coppola's Lost in Translation. Maybe I shouldn't be so appalled by this statistic, considering how difficult it is for women directors to get their films made in general. But seriously, 5%?
3. What's up with all the children and teenagers on this list? Am I really supposed to believe that, in the history of film, 20% of the Greatest Female Characters were younger than twenty? I know ageism in Hollywood is bad, but that doesn't mean amazing women characters over forty don't exist. And I mean in addition to Stifler's Mom (MILF!) from American Pie, who Total Film so graciously remembered to include. Just sayin,' list compilers, if you were really hard-pressed, you could've checked to see if any women of color have ever acted in films.
4. Why is this list so fucking white? I'm not familiar with every movie or every movie character on the list, but I know I'm having a hard time finding nonwhite women. Pam Grier's two blaxploitation characters, Jackie Brown and Coffy, jump out right away, and I'm fairly confident that's not a good thing. Is Pam Grier the only black actress the Total Film list compilers are familiar with? Because, I mean, off the top of my head I've got: Whoopi Goldberg in The Color Purple, Queen Latifah in Chicago, Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls, Angela Bassett in What's Love Got to Do With It?, Halle Berry in anything ...
5. You know what's also interesting about those characters I just listed? None of them is completely deranged (Mrs. Danvers, Annie Wilkes, Alex Forrest.) Or a prostitute (Vivian Ward, Severine Serizy, Alabama Whitman.) Or a Fighting Fuck Toy (Barbarella, Catwoman, Cherry Darling.) Or a seductress (Marquise de Merteuil, Matty Walker, Annie Savoy.) And I'm not even suggesting that prostitutes and deranged women and seductresses and fighting fuck toys (okay, maybe them) are all necessarily terrible characters. But many of these characters, and the films they inhabit, have been deemed antifeminist as fuck.
Basically, compiling a slew of antifeminist characters from antifeminist films and putting them on a list called The 100 Greatest Female Characters--while ironic--is kind of unacceptable. I've only barely grazed the surface of this nonsense. If you want to see some really messed up statistics surrounding this list, check out
The Double R Diner for a much more in-depth analysis, including a look at the many characters who are victims of violence and sexual assault.
So, readers, what female characters would
you include on a list of the 100 Greatest?